Friends.

       I don't really know what is happening but my project group is in a mess right now. I wanna give up so badly. I just want someone to talk to and tell them how tired I am. To be honest whatever I do to help it is like U S E L E S S so what is the point of helping. We used to be best friends but now everything is falling apart. Sigh now I seriously don't know what to do to help the group. I feel like even if it is not my fault everyone will still hate on me and blame me. How I wish I have the ability to read someone's mind.

       I am the type of person that is straightforward and I always want to know the truth. For example, if you don't like me just tell me because I honestly hate to be in the dark and I will always feel hurt. I am actually guilty for ignoring people when I'm angry but I will still try my best to calm myself down to talk to that person. I don't really like to be ignored because it will make me look like a stupid.

       I have seniors telling me to not care when there are conflicts and let them settle themselves. I am trying and I don't wanna side anyone because I don't want to hurt anyone. Whenever there is a conflict, I think no one is totally right or wrong so I don't know how to help. I decided not to care but because they are my close friends, I would wanna at least be their listening ears.
        Jealousy. A feeling that no one likes to have it. Sometimes I just can't help myself feeling jealous. I'm probably replaced by someone. I am not like important to everyone anymore because they have their own life. I am actually kinda happy when I found someone feeling the same as me. At least I know that I am not overthinking because there are people agreeing with me.. I don't really wanna say too much because I don't want to break any of our friendship. It is okay. I have to accept the fact that I am probably an option in everyone's life. Whenever I try to care,I don't mind if no one appreciate it because I always believe they do appreciate it. No one is bad person. It's okay if I am an option to everyone but all I wanna say is that I know I did try to be a listening ear for everyone...

me...

         I shall stay happy and try to help as much as I can.. Sometimes over helping is only making the things worst.. so why not just shut up... I have to accept the fact that everything has change..

</3

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How should I feel now

I have been scolded quite badly lately. Someone said I'm fierce and I do agree that my temper sucks. Sometimes I really don't even know what is the point of being alive. I hate the fact that my parents actually brought me to this world. Happiness is so short. It can't even last for fuking 24 hours. Everything is just a dream. Lies everywhere. Sometimes all I want is someone to be there for me to rant to. Guess what. The person I use to rant to is now the one scolding me. Is it wrong to be insecure? Why does it seems like everthing i does is all wrong. I don't know how should I feel right now. Things are getting harder each day. I feel like giving up on everything I have. I just wanna feel some love but where is the love. It's just me. I'm never good enough for anyone..

    It should be a happy day but it seems like I'm spoiling it. I just want to cry to sleep and never wake up. I'm those type of people who tends to overthink a lot but whenever I tweet about my feelings I get scolded. I do find  myself a pain in everyone's ass because I keep spamming their timeline.
     Actually while typing this, I'm sort of doing reflection. I can't take jokes. I rage easily especially when I'm in the bad mood. Sometimes I just wanna sleep until Poly because secondary life is too too tiring. I am so use to being emo on twitter and now you want me to be happy. I mean it is difficult for me to change. I did try my best it's just that you didn't see it.. 
     Whenever I hear someone saying they are having tough life and stuff,I always think that I'm in a worst situation than them. I cared so much but actually who will appreciate it.. My friends? They all have their own bffs. tbh I'm thankful for Janis,Kim,Rei,Mel and other ppl. They do care for me but it's just that I don't know how to appreciate. I don't wanna say too much because I feel like I should be blamed because of my bad temper. I should learn to stay calmer. Are you willing to give me time or you have already given up on me? 

to myself and others who are facing same problem as me

Short post but this is all i wanna say. 
Ig- @minnruuu // @xminrux
Twitter-@xminrux 
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Vanz bday party

Hi guys! On 19 July,i went to Vanz birthday party that was organized by Jia Qi :-) Vanz birthday is actually today, 20 July. 

ootd :-)

Kimberly's ootd
Ig @itsxkimberlyx

Jia Qi's ootd
twitter @jiaqitjq

     Sooooo... It all started 2 weeks ago, JQ told us that she wants to give van a surprise and asked us to be cold towards Vanz. I lied to Vanz saying that i dont know anything about her birthday hehe. On the 19th,we woke up at 8 am in the morning to prepare for her birthday. I was supposed to meet Vanz and NAT for breakfast but i went late so she went to collect her passport. Meanwhile, i met YQ and went to buy box and card for van. Then, we rushed back to van hse to start the wrapping and we met Janis. Soon, Shahzad and the others all came in. While they were decorating the room,i went out to meet Vanz. I tried to hold her back but she was like so eager to go home. When she called her friend to find alvin , me and NAT was totally panicking.

Feeling awkward....

On the bus.

       Both NAT and I went to buy food and when JQ called me said we can go back to Vanz home,we moved off. We were asked to let van walk in front and she was screaming , thinking that we were prank her 😂 when van went into the room. The poppers sound were everywhere. Van went into her room and were so touched by us and almost cried. 

Birthday girl's room;-)

        After that we went down to cut cake. We took poloriads together and sang birthday song for vanz.

with the birthday girl:-)

  Finished with the cake,we went down to play game. Question will be asked and van have to ans it correctly otherwise there will be ppl throwing flour at her. Basically... She answered all wrongly. She became a Snow White and alvin the prince appeared. It's like some fairytale hahah!

oops.

Snow white vanz

Snow white's prince Alvin!

 

Group photo of our school people who went ytd :)

At about 3 plus, we all went to Kallang Leisure Park except for Vanz and jq and her other friends. We went there to sit,eat and play bowling. 

yum yum

A tiring yet happy day came to an end:-) 

Vanz bday party will be on Vanx Jqx YouTube channel! Do subscribe and support them!!

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX6fLs5GSqSfaPqSbBJbk5Q

            Once again, happy birthday BFF Vanz 

pretty vanz turned 14!

 

selfie w van and her other friends:-)

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Taiwan (part 2)

SORRY GUYS! School just started and I went home late everyday so I didn't get a chance to blog and watch my variety shows zzz.
                  So as promised,here comes PART 2!!
DAY 2 in taiwan
  The morning call woke everyone up at 7 am. Quite early but it's okay,because we are gonna have a great day ahead! I am lazy so I let Yu Jie(roommate) to wash up first. Meanwhile,I continued to watch Tom and Jerry in my bed. I woke up,brushed teeth,wash face,get changed and move down to level 3 for breakfast. The breakfast there was surprisingly good. I seriously don't mind going there everyday for breakfast okay. We sat with the teachers.. it was so... awkward._. Alright,moving on, we went onto the bus and set off to Huai Sheng Guo Zhong(怀生国中) Kinda nervous because we gonna have a buddy there and I am like damn awkward... IDK!!
   After 10 -15 mins of bus ride.. we finally reached. The students there clapped their hands to welcome us. I was actually shocked by their friendliness. HAHA I'm easily scared. After finding my partner...we went up the stairs. Without talking or wtv. It is just purely AWKWARD. When everyone was interacting with their partner, both of us were actually looking around..Then I took out the map of Taiwan which is damn awkward. He introduced me to the places that I am going to visit during the trip. After that, it was time for school tour! He brought me around the school..I can't really remember where did we go.. erm but I remember he brought me to his class and I saw junk food under their table. I was kind of jealous because we cannot eat in class,not even sweet. We returned to class for some dessert. IT WAS SO YUMMY!!

yumzzzz <3

   He lent me his hotspot and I used phone for like 15 mins ... Time for English class. The teacher there are so hilarious. They are friendly and kind. Just like my FT. hehe. We had some Bingo session and end of school for us haha. We left at 12 and set off for lunch which 小笼包 aka Dumplings. I don't really like eating those as I always tend to feel like vomiting but the Xiao Long Bao there was unexpectedly good! :-)
    After lunch, we went to a famous TV production there. We saw how the system there work out. Like crops and stuffs. It was quite cool.

paranormal :-)

    Then,we set off to DIY 鳳梨酥 aka Pineapple Cake. It was really fun! The Pineapple Cake there are famous so it is definitely recommended! We went for a tour of how they made it and bought some gifts for our family. Then we set off to 西門町!  

Our product yayness!

More info : http://www.taiwan-vigor.com.tw/front/bin/ptlist.phtml?Category=349745

   After 1 hour plus of shopping! Time for dinner! We went to the Toilet Themed Restaurant for dinner. It was really good. I really Enjoyed the food there. After that we went back to hotel. After I bathe, I went down to their room and something happened... and everyone went back to their room. At Xi Men Ding, I bought Cup noodle for supper. It was quite a big bowl so I shared with my partner:-) After all those we start to rest. We watched tv until we fell asleep.. And we ended our day :-)

More info :http://www.moderntoilet.com.tw/

My Food hehe. It taste great!

My dessert. POO! Nah kidding.

END OF DAY 2
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how i spent my holiday

One piece of sad news I would like to share.. SCHOOL TOMORROW zzz. One month vacation is over.. omg. June passed too fast.. I need one more month of holiday..

  Alright, so my June holiday is somehow quite empty and somehow quite filled.. Empty because I didn't really went out with my friends because some were busy with school and stuffs..I end up hanging out w some regular people and myself..at home:( Filled because of the TAIWAN TRIP and Genting trip :-) Sorry guys i will update my Taiwan trip part 2 soon!!

  I am a movie lover.. I watched The Lion men 2, Transformer 4 , X-men: Days of the future past and Maleficient !! I really can't choose which is my favourite movie because they are simply too nice. Maleficient is totally recommended because somehow.. I cried during the movie. It was the first time for me to watch a movie in 3D. The effect is great but I HATE WEARING THE SPECS. super uncomfortable but i had no choicee. Do support local movie The Lion Men!! It is definitely hilarious hehe. Featuring cast of Ah Boys To Men and some new actors and actresses. Transformer 4 is the first transformer movie I've seen... it turned out really great even though it was a super long movie hehe.  After the movie we went to timezone and I actually played the drum game. The boys said i was childish but they ended up playing w me. lool, X-men have been always my favourite movie series!! I've watched all series and I really like this one although it was a little bit confusing.. but yeah it was great !! 

watched with fam :)

Watched w him :-)

watched w seniors :-)

watched w rei and ben :-)

  I feel like i'm doing a movie review.. LOL. erm when school reopen,i'm gonna watch The Fault In Our Stars. Kind of looking forward to it because i have never read the book. 

  Talking about school, my homework are done since yesterday so today I napped for quite long. I am dead for history.. I can't draw but we are tasked to draw a cartoon. Confirm getting scolding by my hist teacher. She is really fierce. SOMEONE HELP ME.

  Oh ya. I am not a gamer but I did attend the Garena Carnival 2014. I was forced to and I was grumbling about it until the the blackshot competition started. It turned out really great. after that i gotta rush to tuition sigh. It was the only day i went tuition for this month though.. oops.

Free monster drink given :-)

  Not forgetting but I did went out with a large group of friends to ECP to cycle. I can't cycle so I paired up w Veinna. She is really nice and she control well. THANKS VT I LOVE YOU. But on the return trip i paired up w him. We cycled together w Guo sheng. I kept on screaming so ended up he leaving us alone. haha. Although it was rainy at first but it was sunny afterwards. Hopefully we can go cycling again and stop at the food court for foods!

SORRY I LOOKED UNGLAM

the girls :-)

bestf VANZZZ

girlfriend VEINNA

  So this is how i spent my holiday:-) 

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